Dinner Me Timbers

My friends are an extroverted group of scallywags. We love an adventure. We’ve pretty much done it all. But one thing we certainly haven’t done is dine in the midst of a battle over two pirates’ forbidden love. 

I took my friends by surprise when pulling up to the Pirates Voyage Dinner & Show in Panama City Beach—even the building’s imposing size is enough to make one look twice. Inside, the warm lanterns, portal windows, and labyrinthine lounges take the visitor back in time and change them from beachgoer to seafarer. 

Our first stop is in the VIP lounge, where we’re treated like the Very Important Pirates we are. We love the part-theme-park, part-speakeasy ambience, and we take the bartender’s note that the Rum Runner is the most popular drink on the menu. It’s the favorite for a reason, we realize—strong, not too sweet, and big enough to tide us over throughout the better portion of the show. And naturally, we snag a photo with Blackbeard on our way to our seats. 

My friends are not just extroverts. They’re writers, too, so we get hyped over storytelling—particularly one with a romantic thread. But who doesn’t? At the opening of the show, we found ourselves en media res of a Romeo and Juliet-type story, with two sparring pirate gangs mirrored in the two divided halves of the audience: the Crimson Crew and the Sapphire Crew. Showy rivalry, the boom of splashy cannonballs, and a bit of meddling from Davy Jones all complicate the musical tale. I won’t spoil too much for you. 

Something I can say, though, is that the songs are quite catchy; one was performed by Dolly Parton, the creator of this experience, exclusively for the dinner show. Each number is a high-spirited backdrop for the castmates’ acrobatic performances, which are pretty awe-inspiring.

And come hungry because the dinner itself is generous. The biscuits, roasted chicken, pulled pork, and German chocolate cake got particularly strong reviews from us. As for service, the waitstaff were efficient and friendly—you can even order drinks from a QR code at your table—another delightful surprise. 

On the theme of surprises, I was particularly fond of the animal members of the dinner show cast. Toward the beginning of the show, bright macaws flicker across the auditorium, and later on, sea lions and dogs make their own dynamic entrance. Who wouldn’t love a Labrador playing fetch in the shadow of a pirate ship? 

Families should also keep in mind the interactive nature of the show—your littlest crewmates might even have an opportunity to join part of the performance, getting up close with the welcoming performers and immersive set. 

We left the auditorium in great spirits and took a walk along the nearby beach. It’s such a pleasure to spend an evening putting responsibilities on pause and enjoying the fun side of life. If you and your people are feeling a little landlocked lately, this expedition close to home might be just the ticket.